Safe

This afternoon my 11 year old daughter came home from school and told us about the ‘terrorism drill’ they had today.  How they practiced what to do if men armed with AK47’s broke into the school compound and began a shooting spree!

She told me in great detail about hiding on floors, staying away from windows and doors and padlocking themselves into cupboards in total silence.

To be honest this is not something I ever really imagined one of my children would talk about, let alone experience.  When I was a child, in my quiet little English school, the most dramatic things we ever experienced was the annual fire drill, where we would all stand on our beautiful big playing field, laughing and joking, whilst our teacher would take the class register.

Ebola outbreaks, AIDS infection, political riots, terrorism threats, these are the things that make up our day to day African life. The issues I used to hear about on the BBC World News reports have now become our daily life reality.

So here I am watching my little girl playing and asking myself the question again today:

Where do I find safety?

Do I decide to stop my daughter from attending a school she loves simply for fears sake?

Do I stop my 14 year old son from spending his afternoons helping out in the slum communities, knowing that disease and dangers lies in every winding passageway?

Do I try to keep my husband, still recovering from a years worth of complex life-saving surgery, in a country with some of the best medical care the world has to offer, rather than here in a country where it is so much harder to access, if available?

I have to confess that sometimes its very tempting, sometimes I wonder what on earth we are doing! Why each morning we wake up and start yet another day in a country that at times can feel full of uncertainty and threat.

Sometimes life here is hard and even the small things that should be so simple, become complicated. The constant power cuts and water shortages. The malaria carrying mosquitos. The armed police search every time you drive to the shopping mall and the enormous mission it seems to be every time you want to get money out of a bank!

Throw in yet another riot in the city, or a terror attack drill at school and it can quickly feel quite overwhelming.

Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I just want to pack up and take my family somewhere else, far away from the daily challenges that life here brings.

But where will I really find safety?

Over the last season of my husbands sickness, a friend of mine kept saying something to me that has stuck with me ever since. Whatever was happening with Simon, when the outcome of his surgeries was unclear, when the future of our family was uncertain, when we didn’t know if he would live or die and everything seemed so scary and out of control, she would simply say this:

‘Nicola – We cant put our hope in an outcome or a circumstance, we can only out our hope in who God is’

and she was right!

I have learnt something this year that I pray stays with me forever and it is this..

Whatever is happening around us, however difficult life gets, however confusing and complicated things can sometimes seem, however unsafe and dangerous it can all feel..

God will never fail us

He cant

Failure is not in His nature

Instead he is always faithful and true.

Everything He is always remains.

He is joy, He is peace, He is life, hope and salvation.

I am realising that it doesn’t really matter where in the world I go. I could try to find the safest, quietest place in the world, as far away from ‘harm ‘ as naturally possible. I could hide my self away in a quiet leafy suburb in England, staying hidden from the rest of the world. But it will only ever be second best, because the safest place I can ever be is hidden inside of HIM

So maybe I can let go again today of my insecurities, of my fears, of my desire to keep my family safe through my own natural wisdom and instead once again choose to trust in Him, who is Himself wisdom and all I will ever need.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
, will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
 he is my God, and I trust him. Psalm 91